gay peoples CHRONICLE

Vol. 51 No. 5

Cleveland, Ohio

JOAN RIVERS CAPTURES ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

By KAROL GLATTMASCHINE

In a typically stormy session, the Eleanor Roosevelt Gay Political Club has voted to rename itself the Joan Sveveland's

I and Bi-

North Coast Political Union (JRLGABGCNCPU).

The motion carried, after heated debate, by a narrow margin of 3 to 2 votes.

During the debate, Win Weiser argued that naming the organization after a prominent Republican would draw more members to its meetings and attract wealthier supporteers. Proponents of the change insisted that Rivers can match Roosevelt in breadth of social vision

and concern for the poor and has done much more to fight AIDS. They noted that she also visits Cleveland more often.

New Caucus Recognized

A motion to recognize the newly formed Radical Nostalgia Party as a caucus within JRLGABGCNCPU roused even more heated debate. Calling the proposal indescribably offensive, Acting President R. Woodward resigned his office and left the meeting. The new caucus was then accepted by a vote of 2 to 1 with one abstention. It will be headed by former ERGDC president Margaret Herten.

POPE ADMITS ERROR

By SEARLAS MACHALENDHUIR

Much of the world is still rocking in the backwash of Pope John Paul II's April 1 announcement that the Church "erred grievously" during the past seven centuries by persecuting homosexuals, whose behavior is after all in complete accordance with real Christian faith.

Vatican spokesmen said the Pontiff's revolutionary new

stance resulted from an extensive study that showed gross factual and logical flaws in previous Church arguments.

Cameron in Custody

New York police arrested former psychologist Paul Cameron for creating a disturbance on Fifth Avenue by shouting "Antichrist!" while throwing stones at St. Patrick's Cathedral. Described

LEPRECHAUN SIGHTED

Police sketch of Leprechaun

Capie O'Donnell reports that she saw a leprechaun (left) cross Superior Avenue and disappear into a wooded area of Rockefeller Park. Her discovery has generated much excitement.

Numbers

page 3

Margaret Herten and Radical Nostalgia Caucus

as incoherently charging the cathedral with assaulting him sexually, Cameron is being held for observation. Hasidim Confused Rabbi Yehuda Levin, apparently confused by denominational subtleties, led Hasidic hiss-in outside the Episcopal Cathedral of St. John the Divine.

a

Cardinal Crushed Informed sources described Cardinal O'Connor as deeply

shocked, lamenting the death of Western Civilization and the murder of the American

family. The Cardinal, whose efforts to save the family have drawn national attention, is a middle-aged bachelor.

The New York Archdiocese refused to comment on rumors that several officials are conferring with Jerry Falwell about conversión to page 18, col. 1

GPC EDITOR RESIGNS

By DORA FORBES

Charles Callender, editorin-chief of the gay peoples Chronicle, resigned early this morning. In a long and very convoluted statement, repeatedly referring to him

Sister Christine Vladimiroff, Secretary of Education for the Cleveland Catholic Diocese, called a press conference to announce that she is giving Ms. O'Donnell whom she called "à suggested. "a 000 girl," two of the cookies she hands out as rewards.

as "we," he seemed to be saying he had a pressing need to reread Swinburne.

Exclaiming "Isn't this nice news! Sister Christine commended O'Donnell for providing pleasant thoughts for

Two successors have been

David LaSalvia, a very dark horse, was nominated by younger and giddier members

of the staff, who argued that no one else could give such a convincing impersonation of Callender. They did not explain how this advantage.

is an

the better

Dora Forbes, candidate, pointed out that LaSalvia is not even gay, and has never edited any kind of newspaper. Reminded that Callender' also lacked experience, Forbes said there was no need to state the obvious.

page 18, col. 4

people to think. She foreThe catnip corner

saw an entire colony of leprechauns forming in the eastern suburbs.

Reporter Jane Arden of the Register & Tribune ruptured the meeting's serenity by asking how all-male groups of leprechauns can reproduce. Inflamed by the question, Sister Christine insisted Arden leave at once. She accused Arden of being a Chronicle plant and suggested she might even be a crypto-lesbian.

By PHIL ARULA'S CAT

Mouse, you just love asking questions, don't you? That's okay, I love giving answers. Kenny, why aren't you ever at home, are you avoiding someone?--Paul, I heard about your "almost fight; you really should have "decked" him.--Randy that coffee with you in the morning can be

quite refreshing. Is it true?--Scott 8, is there a color that you haven't worn this month? You're the only Discontinued!

[Excerpted from High Gear, April, 1981. I've had to learn word-processing, but I'm damned if I'll write a gossip column. It's about time Charlie Callender's cat began pulling her weight. --Phil Arula's Cat.